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Story of Another Soul

by Huda Fadlelmawla with Reuben Lewis

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  • Streaming + Download

    Pre-order of Story of Another Soul. You get 2 tracks now (streaming via the free Bandcamp app and also available as a high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more), plus the complete album the moment it’s released.
    Purchasable with gift card
    releases May 17, 2024

      $15 AUD  or more

     

  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    Pressed at Program Records with original artwork by Phil Day and liner notes by Des Cowley.

    Includes digital pre-order of Story of Another Soul. You get 2 tracks now (streaming via the free Bandcamp app and also available as a high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more), plus the complete album the moment it’s released.
    shipping out on or around May 17, 2024
    edition of 150 
    Purchasable with gift card

      $40 AUD or more 

     

1.
All I know is who I am at this very moment and how I feel at this very second. My past has a way of not ever wanting to be forgotten, so I leave a little room in albums for it to exist so it doesn't take over my future. Who I am continues to be written, and I guess there's some freedom in that. When people ask you about yourself, do you offer them who you are, who you wish you were, who you used to be or who the world sees? When people ask you about what makes you happy, do you tell them about the little moments, like booster shots when your depression is at an all time peak, or the thing that reminds you that you are important every day? Like breath. Do you tell them about the compliments from a stranger, the hugs from a loved one, or the time that you fell in love so deeply you thought you were drowning in an ocean that you would be willing to die in. When people ask you to tell them about yourself, do you tell them about the first time you looked yourself in the mirror after crying and didn't recognise yourself. Or the first time you knew that hope can fade and come back, or the first time you looked into a child's eyes and saw that sparkle that you could swear cannot be dimmed by anything. The first time you took them to the playground and they acted like they discovered a kingdom, you watched them imagine something and act like if it was real. Do you tell them how you envy that children are willing to just do it with no second thought. Do you tell them about the first time your home became a cage and you were an animal. Or the first time you figured out that this cage had a door that was wide open the whole time, and you willingly went in to protect yourself because this cage was far more predictable than the world outside of it.
2.
Break 06:26
I don't know when my hands became a resting bay for broken people, but I have suffered too many cuts and open wounds to keep doing this. I don't know when I became the nurse to people who didn't want to be nursed. I don't know when I started offering my body as shelter for those people who just needed a pit stop. That they didn't come here to be healed, to be fixed or to love or to be loved. They came for a break. For their humanity to be validated. I don't know when I started cleaning all wounds, stitching them up and whispering prayers so that these scars would heal. I don't know when I started offering the inside of my ribs by splitting my chest open and allowing people to live inside of them while they drop pieces of their broken glass all over my insides, instead of me having water inside of me it became other people's pain and blood and I started to breathe out hot air in a form of pain that isn't even my own. I turned myself into the protector of those who don't want protection, they just want to break. My love to them was a sticker. It was a moment. A fleeting instant that reminded them that they are worthy of some type of love. That my arms have become tired and my shoulders have sunk from carrying worn our bodies to be in recovery mode. That I'm tired of loving people so hard that I no longer even like myself. I'm tired of mothering a generation of people who have their own mothers. Of offering myself, an exchange for validation and visibility to be seen. Sometimes your purpose is to serve the world with honesty. Sometimes your purpose starts by being able to deliver everything you are giving to the world for free to yourself. And that is hard because no one wants people to be selfish. We want people to be selfless. We want people to be empty, have no sense of self so that they can give everything that they are and become nothing but a shell. That we become skeletons tattooed with other people's stories and our hollow bones are dancing grounds for people trying to find their footing. No one wants you to be self full. No one wants your glass full. No wants you fully watered and fully seeded. They want you half ass so they can take some and tell you good job for offering what little you have. But when they're good and heal. Nobody looks back because we're told to never look back, to keep moving forward. No matter what you've left behind, it's behind, right? I don't know when my hands became a resting bay in hospitals for broken people. I dunno when I've offered my bones and their hollowness to be a home for somebody who's just trying to find their footing. I don't know when I've offered my skin and my flesh for people to dig their teeth into so they can eliminate the rage they feel by drawing blood out of my skin and me offering myself as a place for all their pain and rage to go into. And people wonder why now I'm silent because I am drowning in others voices. I am drowned in others screams and I am heavy with the weight of their bodies. And they found the glow in my eyes and robbed me of it with no thank you in exchange. I don't know when I became that person that convinced myself that my serving of people and serving myself to people that will feast on my life flesh and say, well, you offered, it became my existence. But I'm retiring that job. Because I will feed me, heal me, take care of me, and my corpse will not be your home. That will be my children's thrones and they will thrive in them. You are an invited guest that now has been given an eviction letter. That I don't need your body here to feel complete anymore. That I have too many scars and my bones ache, and my knees hurt, and I am all prayed out for you, and it's your time to go and it's time to learn to pray for you and get on your feet and use your own back and stand straight without me because you can do that. You will do that. I don't know when, but I know when it will end.
3.
That Hollow Wind
4.
These Stories
5.
The Type of Love
6.
Dress Ups
7.
Story of Another Soul

about

From Tariro Mavondo:

Black women we are hyper sensitive to the injustices of other people. Often we have the capacity to hold space for others but just because we can doesn’t mean we always should. This is the result of Western European epistemological, ontological and axiological civilisation that has cornered us into this shape, this form of hyper vigilance.

In 'Story of Another Soul' Huda the Goddess proclaims she is retiring from this role and it is a powerful act of resistance, disruption and liberation. The hanging up the boots of martyrdom is a very important process because it is the journey of self love, self respect and self knowing.

The conviction and oral dexterity that this wordsmith utters these truth through poetry is deliciously generous and wonderfully showcases her mastery of spoken word. Reuben Lewis’s music is the perfect soundtrack to enter into Huda’s mindscape and interiority of expansive themes, deep as the ocean, and longitudinal like stretches of endless desert.

'Story of Another Soul' is an irresistible and unforgettable album for its irrefutable honesty. It is a profound offering into the poetics of presence and stillness. Inviting the audience to be and to feel moved by the world seen and unseen and to in the spirit of reciprocity move the world from a place of cup overflowing where one’s wellbeing is prioritised first.

The album is a decolonial dreaming of new futures and we get a sense that this exercise is far from futile that it is indeed a necessity for our very existence. It is the love letter, the love dedication to humanity we so needed in these times.

--

Liner notes by Des Cowley:

Words and music. It was September 2017, and I was in London. I remember taking the #34 bus from Hackney, across town, to see the Jean-Michel Basquiat exhibition 'Boom for Real', at the Barbican. The exhibition chronicled Jean-Michel’s associations with Warhol, Keith Haring, Blondie, and the whole early ‘80s No Wave scene at the Mudd Club in New York. But my eye was constantly roaming his canvases, picking up on jazz references: Charlie Parker, Dizzy Gillespie, Max Roach, 'Ornithology', 'Kokosolo'. Basquiat was making gestures, name-checking his forbears, like a rapper improvising in word and paint.

Afterwards, I wandered through the exhibition gift shop, which proved a washout. But I came away with a book entitled Jazz Poems, one of those little Everyman pocket editions. On the front cover, was a moody, black & white portrait of John Coltrane, looking straight to camera, his sax resting on his lap. The book contained over a hundred poems by poets celebrating or eulogizing this music, some obvious, others surprising: Langston Hughes, E.E. Cummings, William Carlos Williams, Notozaki Shange, Ted Joans, Amiri Baraka, Frank O’Hara, Thulani Davis. There were numerous poems for and about Billie Holiday, but also Dolphy, Thelonious, Buddy Bolden, Duke, Ornette, Sun Ra, Miles, Sonny, Lester, Bird, and of course ‘Trane. Turning to page 237, I came across Frank O’Hara’s 'The Day Lady Died': “she whispered a song along the keyboard / to Mal Waldron and everyone and I stopped breathing”. It brings you up short.

'Jazz Poems' contains poems about jazz but also poems that are jazz, like Hayden Caruth’s 'The Fantastic Names of Jazz', which is nothing but a list of names – "Cootie Williams, Cab Calloway / Lockjaw Davis, Chippie Hill" spoken rat-a-tat-tat. These poems are meant for the ear, for the rhythms of the body. They are intended as performative, spoken riffs, their words hinged on melodies and chords, freely improvised. Sure, Jack Kerouac’s 'Desolation Angels' can be read on the page, but it can also be spoken aloud: his words turning to energy turning to music, dancing through smoke-filled rooms, fueled by insistent bass grooves, caught on tape: "wailing beer-caps of bottles and jamming on the cash register and everything is going to the beat". Think Jeanne Lee with Jimmy Lyons; Brion Gysin and Steve Lacy; Amiri Baraka with David Murray; Maria Parks with Albert Ayler; Jayne Cortez with the Firesplitters.

Huda Fadlelmawla and Reuben Lewis’s 'Story of Another Soul' exists in dialogue with these poets and musicians, building on tradition, but equally striking out into new territory, their improvisatory cadences existing in the here and now.

Reuben Lewis is no stranger to working with poets, having previously collaborated with Tariro Mavondo on the Australian Art Orchestra’s 'Closed Beginnings'; and with Didem Caia on I Hold the Lion’s Paw single 'This Body is a Compass'. Since re-locating from Canberra to Melbourne, he has staked his claim as one of the city’s finest improvisers and creative musicians, leading his own ensemble, while contributing his unique sound to others. He’s performed in concert halls and artist-run spaces, collaborated with dance projects, here and overseas, and with theatre works. Everywhere, he can be seen crossing boundaries, crossing space.

Of late, he’s been exploring solo performance, an unearthly mix of trumpet and electronics, producing music made from scraps and slivers, heavily-layered, full of ambient textures, brooding and near-glacial in feel. Manifesting itself as slow music, these sounds unfold in real time, an array of improvised patterns fabricated from reverb and silence. Listening to it, you get the feeling he’s spinning stories, making up narratives, toying with strange ambiguity, mysterious and open-ended.

Huda Fadlelmawla, who performs as Huda the Goddess, is an Australian Poetry Slam Champion, and two times Queensland champion. She’s a spoken word poet, educator, dancer, mental health advocate. She speaks from the heart, declamatory and incandescent, sharing stories of herself and her ancestors, transmuting the everyday into the unfamiliar, turning lived experience into art. Her poems are rhythmic dances, burnished and glowering, that arise out of air, restoring poetry to its spoken roots.

Together Huda and Reuben meld words and sounds into new configurations, neither poem nor music, but something else. Fields of electronic pulse and trumpet loops serve to buttress a voice that speaks: "all I know is who I am at this very moment and how I feel in this very second". A poetry that foregrounds instantaneity, that seeks truth in the roots of improvisation, holding faith in the ephemeral.

"Sometimes your purpose is to serve the world with honesty". Huda’s poems are messages and prayers that oscillate between past and future, jostling conflict into harmony and back again. They bleed, they cry, they celebrate. "I have too many scars in my bones". The poem 'That Hollow Wind' calls forth her grandmother, a ghostly presence drawn back from a time when "hopes and dreams were just facts to me". Her grandmother resides in memory and breath and legacy and shelter, summoned anew: "I go to the ocean and I look to the sky and I swear to you her breath was collected in a jar thrown to the sky and that is how the first cloud was birthed".

Reuben’s role is that of sorcerer, creating backdrops and soundscapes, permitting these poems to breathe. Trumpet, pedals, samplers, loops, all combine to forge otherness and mystery, all-the-while mimicking the delicate thrum of the heart, its tranquil rhythms. By way of example: Huda’s poem 'The Type of Love'. An eleven-minute tour de force, a recitation overflowing with tenderness, pain, questions, beginnings, endings: "even in the midst of a storm lightening is a reminder that darkness is not meant to last forever". Everything is twinned. Hope co-exists with its shadowy underside, love flourishes with pain. Reuben’s electronic score bathes Huda’s words in a warm sonic glow; his ambient and otherworldly textures provide shelter, the promise of calm, solace, and reassurance.

By the album’s end, it feels like we’re a long way from my Everyman book of 'Jazz Poems'. But like Frank’s 'The Day Lady Died', it brings you up short. Huda Fadlelmawla’s poems and Reuben Lewis’s finely-etched soundscapes dig deep, mining the dark recesses of the heart. Together they speak, in words and music, so that "our heartbeats can be the drum".

credits

releases May 17, 2024

Huda Fadlelmawla — spoken word poetry
Reuben Lewis — composition, trumpet, synthesisers, pedals, electronics

Recorded, mixed & produced by Reuben Lewis
Mastered by Helmut Erler
Liner Notes by Des Cowley and Tariro Mavondo
Artwork and design by Phil Day
Distributed by Gazebo Books

This recording was made possible thanks to the Australian Music Centre MOMENTUM Commissions with support provided by Hendrik Prins, and Life Before Man with support provided by Anthony Mark Day.

Huda and Reuben acknowledge the traditional owners of the lands on which this album was created, the Jagera people and the Turrbal people of Meanjin, and the Wurundjeri Woi-wurrung people of Naarm, and pay their respect to Elders past and present.

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Reuben Lewis Melbourne, Australia

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